Masculine Sonnet
by Sreshtha Sen
Already this poem is turning聽 聽 into聽 聽 what聽 聽 I聽 聽 cannot聽 聽 write:聽 聽 my聽 聽 brother
whose fingers would pet me to the kindest sleep. My brother who grew up &
I grew with him聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽was聽 聽 there聽 聽 as聽 聽 he聽 聽 turned聽 聽 12聽 聽 the聽 聽 afternoon
he was so bored:聽 聽 聽his friends聽 聽 wanted聽 聽 some聽 聽聽fun聽 聽 聽 I must have been fun
he slapped me聽 聽 as聽 many聽 times聽 as聽 the聽 years聽 he鈥檇聽 spent聽 聽 聽 聽 learning to be
man.聽 聽The hard taste of his knuckles.聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽I聽 聽will聽 聽never聽 聽forget
my terror plastered on his face鈥攈ow聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽he feared his own
fists the most after that聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 what they could do聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 had聽 聽 done.
I聽 do聽 not聽 want聽 to聽 write聽 about聽 my聽 brother鈥檚聽 hands聽 which聽 I聽 love.聽 I聽 meant
to write about the ones that said I just need you to prove you don鈥檛 like men like
that or the drunk hands that squeezed a little too hard after I said stop please
or聽 聽the聽 聽ones聽 聽that聽 聽found聽 聽my聽 聽thighs聽 聽in聽 聽the聽 聽dark聽 聽of聽 聽a聽 聽cab聽 聽or聽 聽all
the聽 others.聽 I聽 meant聽 to聽 say聽 I聽 grew聽 up聽 聽 聽 watching聽 my聽 brother鈥檚聽 hands
mold me into a better person. I meant even the gentlest palms have made me
kneel聽 聽& heard me聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽weep &聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 hated聽 聽 聽 聽 it but did it anyway.
is a writer from Delhi, India. She studied literatures in English聽from Delhi University and completed her MFA at Sarah Lawrence College, New聽York. Her work has been published in Arkansas International, bitch media, BOAAT,听Glass Poetry, Hyperallergic, Hyphen, The Margins, The Shallow Ends, and elsewhere.聽She was the 2017-18 Readings/Workshops fellow at Poets & Writers and currently聽lives and teaches in Las Vegas, where she鈥檚 completing her PhD in poetry.